Kathy Griffin - Francine

[to Gail Stanwyck, who answers the door wearing a towel] Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.

Listen, if you're from Arizona I'm not making fun of your home. I'm making fun of you for gathering there and building a community in an oven. Smooth move.

Man, I was tame compared to what they do now. Are you kidding? I didn't do anything but just jiggle.

Ooooh... You think you're so cool with your karate... and your child-like reflexes!

[http://adene-editorialcartoon.blogspot.com/ Editorial cartoons]

Well, my kidneys have failed. I haven't (laughs). (discussing her Kidney Cancer)

And we're going, "Oh, Captain Clever! Whoa-ho-ho! Rattle it, and if it doesn't go off, it can't be a bomb!

I'm sick of Soup of the Day, it's time we made a decision. I wanna know what the fuck 'Soup From Now On' is.

Connie Booth – Polly Sherman

You know what I call him? Not Roy O'Bannon. Roy O'Baloney!

If you can see the handwriting on the wall … you're on the toilet.

Morris: I'll never speak to you again until the day I die!
Gary: Well, we can have a nice little chat then, can't we?

If one-day cricket was pyjama cricket, then Twenty20 is underwear cricket.

A Bit of Fry and Laurie

Girls are strategic. They will talk about love and romance and all that crap but when it comes to doing the deal they will choose the fattest chicken.