George Carlin Quotes

Nobody makes me do anything I don't want to do. It's my decision. So the biggest devil is me. I'm either my best friend or my worst enemy. And that's how I have to deal with it.

(Imitating Pavarotti) "It is amazing I know it is huge. BEHOLD IT. IT IS GROWING. ALL OF MY PHALLUS IS A SHOWING!

Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.

We have only one alternative: either to build a functioning industrial society or see freedom itself disappear in anarchy and tyranny.

True peace of mind comes from accepting the worst.

In the integrated relational model presented here, sexuality and relational issues are not seen as alternative foci. Rather, sexuality is regarded as a central realm in which relational conflicts are shaped and played out.

When the Seasons' changes thus confront the mind
What comfort can the Doctrine of Tao give?
It will teach me to watch the days and months fly
Without grieving that Youth slips away;
If the Fleeting World is but a long dream,
It does not matter whether one is young or old.

Do your worst, you little bastards! Kill me! Do it! Do iiiiiaaaauuugghh!