George Carlin Quotes

Nobody makes me do anything I don't want to do. It's my decision. So the biggest devil is me. I'm either my best friend or my worst enemy. And that's how I have to deal with it.

Success always obsoletes the very behavior that achieved it.

Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.

One is telling a story about old times when someone breaks in with a little detail that he happens to know, implying that one's own version is inaccurate — disgusting behavior! (p. 46)

Most people don’t have very many numbers in their address book they use their recents as their address book. Right? How many of you do that? I bet more than a few.

We have only one alternative: either to build a functioning industrial society or see freedom itself disappear in anarchy and tyranny.

(After Franklin transforms and behaves like The Mask) Oh dear. This is just what he did at Nixon's funeral.

True peace of mind comes from accepting the worst.

The Unseasonable man is one who will go up to a busy person, and open his heart to him. He will serenade his mistress when she has a fever. He will address himself to a man who has been cast in a surety-suit, and request him to become his security. He will come to give evidence when the trial is over.

Laws are never as effective as habits.

In the integrated relational model presented here, sexuality and relational issues are not seen as alternative foci. Rather, sexuality is regarded as a central realm in which relational conflicts are shaped and played out.

Sometimes, when I get nervous, I stick my hands under my armpits and then I smell them like this!

There’s a psychological phenomenon called ‘reactance,’ that means when people believe that their choices are being limited or they’re going to have to engage in costly behaviors, they’re likely to push back against that and the message can backfire.

These bad actors have made a business out of publishing increasingly extreme and hateful content because it makes them money.

Do your worst, you little bastards! Kill me! Do it! Do iiiiiaaaauuugghh!

Bandura’s findings were particularly important in 1960s America, when lawmakers, broadcasters, and the general public were engaged in serious debate regarding the effects of television violence on the behavior of children.